I usually include a photograph with these blogs, but the blog site is not being kind to me at the moment and not allowing me to put up a photo. I am working on a fix, but in the meantime, I will tell you my recent squat toilet story. If this is the first time you have read my blog, before reading on I suggest you familiarise yourself with my first adventure with the squat toilets.
Last Friday night, I was invited to dinner by Andy and Tracy (a couple I met from the UK) who were celebrating Tracy's 41st birthday. There was 8 of us going out to a great restaurant called "Black Sesame Kitchen". If you ever get the chance to come to Bejing, I would recommend it. It's a small, intimate restaurant that caters for only 23 people per night, and you sit around a table in the kitchen and watch the chef cook your 10 course meal. Awesome!
I hitched a ride with Andy and Tracy, and their boss Ray (from Australia). It was about a 20 minute ride to the restaurant. It wasn't until we were in the car driving to the restaurant, that I felt that nature would be calling on me some time soon. Damn! Why hadn't I thought of this earlier? All I could hear was my mothers voice in my head from when I was 10 years old. "Make sure you go to the bathroom before we leave home". Where was mum's voice 20 minutes ago?
But, having been in China now for almost 2 months, I was prepared. I knew we were going to a location that most likely only had squat toilets. And squat toilets are now my friend. I have mastered the pose, and I know what to expect.
We arrived at around 6:15 and weren't due at the restauarnt until 7. So we decided to have a beer at a small bar called "Wiggly Jiggly" in one of the hutongs (small, narrow alley). I excused myself, and asked the bar staff where the toliet was. "Down the street, on the left. 1 minute". So, I gathered a supply of napkins (Ok, I wasn't that prepared) and went to find the toilet.
It was easy to find, and exactly where they said it would be. Down the street, on the left, one minute. I walked into that toilet block full of confidence, having tamed the squat toilets. Head held high, chest out, I would once again take on the squat toilet - and win!
Like my very first meeting with a squat toilet, as I walked in I stopped dead in my tracks. Yes, they were indeed squat toilets, but with a slight catch. These were the squat toilets that had no doors, and as I walked in, I made immediate eye contact with the current tenant, doing his business. He was also on his mobile phone texting, and looked up at me as I entered. I did what any normal Aussie would do. I acknowledged him with a nod, then moved to the nearest vacant stall.
There is also another highlight of these squat toilets. The walls on either side only come up to your waist (hell, you don't need any higher. You're squatting!). I had already committed myself, plus I was never going to find another toilet where we were.
So again, I took on this new challenge, dropped the dacks, and assumed what I now know to be the correct squatting position - in full view of anynone who chose to walk in the door. I'm sure there would have been one stage in my life (maybe when I was 2) that I had been in full view of anyone who decided to walk past/in at any moment. But hey, when in Rome......
The one thing I am glad about is that they build the stalls at right angles. I don't think I could handle it if you were in a squat toilet, with no door, looking across at the opposite row of squat toilets. And I suppose the other good things was that it was highly unlikely that someone I knew was going to come in at that moment. Mind you, if someone I knew did come in, it would make a great story! "Hey, remember that time I walked into the squat toilet in China and I bumped into you taking a dump. Ha, what are the chances?!"
There it is blog fans. My latest adventure with the squat toilet, and again victorious. With that behind me (excuse the pun), I had a great night with new friends in Beijing.
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